I tried to write this in January but it was to painful then I am writing now as i feel i have come to terms with Margaret,s passing I had the priveledge to meet this remarkable girl when i was 15 and knew then that this was the girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with We lost touch for four years I met her again by chance through a friend we started dating and were married on June 12th 1964 thus our journey began We had our Kenneth in 1966 who died shortly after birth Margaret and i were devastated as they were no warning signs that any thing was wrong The way we got over it was Margaret said pick a place in our hearts for him put him there and never forget him and thats what we did Margaret lost a further three pregnancies She then developed thyroid cancer in 1975 She was rushed into hospital and had her thyroid gland removed this was the start of Margarets catalogue of illnesses of which there were many We had our third baby Kelly in 1976 and in 1980 Margaret was pregnant with Lesley Then she was hit by a bombshell She had ovarian cancer she was 6 months into the pregnancy They wanted her to have an abortiona but anyone who knew Margaret knew that was a no no It was a real scary time her womb was closing down the doctors kept at me to coax her to abort but i couldn,t go against her After a difficult time she had her Lesley -Anne Margaret had to remain in hospital for a further five months for treatment and a few operations She seemed to take it all in her stride and seldom complained that was our family complete We started our caravaning in 1983 in Ardgarten when Lesley was three it wasn,t long till we had met a lot of good friends Who I still have Margaret and i loved to party and socialise and it wasn,t long till we had built up a little community of good friends which lasted for many years We were there till 1998 then Margaret wanted to buy a caravan in Drymsynie She said she was fed up with Ardgarten The real reason was Lesley-Anne was working there and Kelly stayed at week-ends She wanted to be there to keep her eye on them It wasn,t long till we were called Mummy and Daddy Chisholm We got friendly with Kelly and Lesley,s friends and were allways helping them with advice and other problems a lot of these kids came from all over the world and i am still in touch through face-book with a lot of them Margaret worked for the family that owned the estate till one day she collapsed with emphazema She made a short recovery we sold the caravan and ended our caravan day,s We were home in Glasgow for about 3 months when she was taken into hospital with emphazema again She was temporarily cured and let out she then developed severe pleuresy and shingles She came home for about a year by then her breathing was terrible Kelly and I used to jokingly call her Darth Vader she was that noisy If i lost her in the shops i used to stand and listen and hear where she was Then one day she said Chris let,s buy a campervan we did and Did a bit of touring it broke down one day and the A.A took us home that was that escapade over we then bought a 2 berth caravan and landed back at Ardgarten By this time Margaret had developed a rare skin disease called P.L.M.E. an allergy to daylight between March and October About 100 people in Britain have it usually people who go to hot countries contract it Margaret had never been out of Britain in her life she had to cover every piece of skin up and wear a hat with a veil still she never complained we had this caravan for about 6 months then she wanted a bigger one We got a lovely van from the caravan site next door and i thought that would be her contented no chance we went a run one day to visit our Lesley-Anne who had re-located to Oban When we came down the hill into Oban i will never forget that day when Margaret said i want to live here Who was i to argue as the sign on my campervan says i.m right he,s wrong end of story we rented a semi on a long lease the stairs were too much for Margaret the result was she had a heart attack on our 43 anniversary it was touch and go we thought we were losing her then but she recovered as usual she went to Glasgow for heart treatment She was back in Oban 4 weeks and she was rushed back into hospital with a lung infection when she was released we were informed of a little bungalow for sale at the same time Kelly,s friend bought our house in Glasgow When Margaret saw the house she fell in love with it She told me her journey was finally over i didn,t realise the significance of that statement till after she was gone After her heart attack the both of us gave up smoking we had smoked all our lives We got our story in the Oban times it was quite easy to stop after 50 years so any one reading this bin them I N 2008 Lesley-Anne and JOHN were getting Married Margaret,s health was deteriorating rapidly but she made it a point to get to the wedding which she thoroughly enjoyed She met a lot of old friends i think she knew it would be the last time she would see many of them The wedding was in September she was diagnosed with lung cancer in October She started chemo- therapy in November she had about 3 bad days Her second course was a week before Christmas Margaret was okay till the day before xmas then she became pretty ill But she made sure she was ok for Xmas day She had a bit of Xmas dinner and an advocaat On Boxing Day i could not fully wake Margaret she was quite delirious The doctor was called and she was rushed to hospital after examination we were asked if Margaret was to be resuscitated if the worst came to the worst of course we said it was after it the consultant explained she had contracted septezema poisoning and her kidneys had failed and there was no chance to cure her not long after we were asked to consider removing treatment and let them control the pain I had to consider this for quite a while as i as being asked to end my dear wife,s life i discussed it with my girl,s and took advice from hospital staff who i knew personally And i allowed treatment to be withdrawn the saddest thing i have ever done As soon as Margaret was put on Morphine you could see the peace coming over her all her pain had gone then she slowly slipped away I gave her a kiss about 10 seconds before she died she gave a smile she probabley felt my mousetache bristles its the way i will alway,s remember this beautiful person Margaret had such a zest for life i think it came from fighting so many illnesess it was as though she was being tested okay smartie you beat that one now try and beat this one And she finally gave up Before Margaret died i used to be a sceptic about the afterlife and something out there theres so many things happened since her passing that both myself and Kelly have agreed it all cant be coincidence I am now able to cope i go to see her grave every day and talk to her and its gradually getting better I have been privledged to spend 45 years of my life with Margaret and would not have had it any other way she was my wife and my best friend THE ROSE OF MY HEART Good night and god bless Margaret I will never ever stop loving you and i cant wait to join you I wish i could be with you so much LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK CHRIS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Since writing this i visited Margarets grave on Lesley-Annes birthday 12/5/09 i was talking to her as i often do and said i wished i knew if she was at peace if i knew that i could start to pick my self up One of the cemetry workers was passing by on his tractor and pointed at the sky and asked me if i had asked for a miracle i allways carry one of my cameras in the car and took the photo which is on the photo page of her headstone with the scottish saltire the meaning of the Saltire is Deliverance Surely a sign for me that has been my turning point knowing that i can now move on and leave this dark place behind me and Margaret will allways be with me wherever i go chris